Cahill Family Reunion
by VampyrycPineapple
Summary: Amy and Dan knew that Grace's Family Reunions had been going on for a while, but they didn't know that their parents went to one. This is why they were politely asked never to attend one of them ever again. One-shot.


**This is for sapghttigrrl and Rage's contest, and a long-time plot bunny of mine.**

_I wanna be  
>A rock star<br>A superhero  
>Living the dream<br>Doing the things that  
>I always wanted<br>I wanna see  
>My face on the T.V.<br>With my picture,  
>On the cover<br>For my friends to see_

_-A Different Side of Me by Allstar Weekend_

This was his first _official_ Cahill Family Reunion.

You know, the Let's-Not-Try-To-Kill-Each-Other-For-A-Few-Hours, and Pretend-To-Get-Along-To-Figure-Out-What-Branch-That-Grace-Cahill-Belongs-To,-Because-She-Certainly-Doesn't-Belong-To-Ours day.

More importantly Arthur was going to meet his future mother-in-law that day; the fact that she was his new branch leader wasn't helping his nerves.

The Vespers had trained him not to show nervousness and their style of training you never really left, especially after the-. But Arthur was here to do some Madrigal business, some personal business, and piss off the more important Cahills at the party.

Fun times, these are.

And now he was channeling Yoda, 'I wonder if George Lucas ever attended one of these parties,' that was an amusing thought, a super-famous director partying with Einstein.

Now Einstein was a Cahill Arthur admired, he had figured out the Theory of Relativity and convinced the president to fund the creation of the atomic bomb. Not that killing millions of Japanese people was cool, but it had (according to Hope), revealed to quite a number of Cahills that if they kept going like that, that they were going to blow up the world.

Ahhhh, that wonderful Madrigal reasoning, and a whole 20 minutes without one single though of math! And now his streak was broken, but still! 20 whole minutes! That had to be a new record.

For Arthur anyways, for a normal, non-Cahill/Vesper person that streak would be much, much longer. But for Arthur, Math was his job, his passion (besides Hope and the whole 39 Clues thing), and his excuse to travel around the world to look for suspicious activity; which admittedly, it wasn't nearly as good as an excuse as his fiancée's excuse of archeology, but it worked, and no Cahill thought that Arthur knew about them and the whole serum thingy (the Cahills would be very surprised that Arthur had been privy to much more information about them, especially considering that it was more than even they knew themselves).

Honestly they hadn't even figured out that working together they would have all the clues, I mean, really? The Cahills were that blind? But Arthur really shouldn't have been talking, after all he was becoming one next October.

Hope's birthday is in October, he had to remember to get her a nice gift, it simply wouldn't do to get her something, well, lame (considering last time). Speaking of Hope, she was sitting right next to him, and Arthur wondered for the 102,845th time, exactly how he had gotten that lucky. She was beautiful in her jade-colored dress with her reddish hair up and curled into little ringlets.

The curls had, approximately, a diameter of half an inch, and yes, Arthur had indeed gotten that bored in the car. At least the pair had arrived at the Mansion. Coming up closer the engorged house was almost as beautiful as Hope, which was really saying something coming from his mind.

Gosh, his suit was itchy; at least the evil group of powerful people had the sense to get the non-itchy kind. Now he felt bad for the Kabra guy, he had to wear suits to work, really can you imagine that? The utterly, terrifying, horror of such an awful, torturous, err, well horror.

But he kinda, really deserved it, the stuck-up V-something was really rude and mean and thought he was better than everyone and all-around snobbish. Arthur still couldn't help but feel sorry for him he had just married Isabel, the modern day version of a she-devil, but Arthur was more than a bit biased, after she had—but he wasn't working for the Vespers anymore so that shouldn't matter.

And there was Grace; she looked a lot like Hope did, or like Hope would when they got older, if they made it that far. There were some reports of murder out there…

No, he wasn't going to be morbid today, today is for family or the Cahill equivalent of family, which really didn't amount to much, but still, it's the thought that counts. For normal people anyways, for Cahills, that philosophy was twisted around a bit (lot).

"Come on Arthur, there's Mom, let's go say hi before all the fighting gets to her."

"Okay, my dear Hope. May I?" Arthur asked, holding out his arm.

Giggling Hope put her arm though his. "You may."

The duo strolled up to the head of the Madrigal branch. "Hello dearies, it's wonderful to finally meet you in person Arthur; Hope, you didn't tell me he was this handsome." Grace greeted.

"It's nice to finally meet you too." And; "Mooom." answered her.

Laughing Grace said: "Oh look, there's Alistair do be polite this time Hope."

"Fine, but civil is as much as he's getting." Hope muttered; Arthur had to stifle a laugh.

"And young man," Her tone had gotten darker. "I pray that we made the right choice in letting you join up."

Gulping Arthur nodded and said: "Let's go annoy the other, less likeable people here, Hope."

Evidently he hadn't covered his fear as well as he would've liked to as Hope looked at him and agreed to go bother the others, as long as Alistair Oh was first on their list. Approaching him Hope got a very frightening smirk that marred her lovely face.

Hope went first, "Hello Uncle Alistar, how are you doing?"

"I am doing fine, Hope. And who is your friend? I don't remember seeing him at one of these gatherings before."

Arthur took his turn. "That would be because I've never been to one of these. My names Arthur, what's yours?"

"Alistair Oh is my name, and I am Hope's uncle."

"I thought that you only had an Aunt Beatrice." Arthur directed at Hope, he was acting confused, he knew that Grace and Alistar were cousins.

Hope's eyes widened, Arthur could tell she was faking though. "Err, umm…"

Was it wrong for Arthur to find Hope's fake stutter adorable?

"Oh my God, why didn't you tell me you had an uncle? Wait no; let me guess, you're both related to _everyone_ at this party." This is fun, Arthur decided, almost as great as math.

"Of course not young man, we—"Alistar started, but Hope cut him off.

Oh no, she was going to burst into fake tears. "Why are you yelling at me?" Arthur hadn't even raised his voice; it had just adopted a sarcastic tone. "Are you accusing me of hiding embarrassing relatives?"

Alistar looked miffed, "I am not embarrassing, not one bit." But he was shouted over by Hope.

"Because that true I have lots of family members you don't know about! What gave you the right to judge me?" Cue the fake tears, Arthur was suddenly happy they had arrived before the bulk of the attending members got here. The trio was attracting a fair amount of attention, hidden video cameras, tiny mikes, uncomfortable stares.

"I am your fiancée and that—. "Arthur couldn't help it; he started cracking up, and was quickly joined by Hope.

Now the staring Cahills were joined by Alistar, who were giving the duo a weird look.

"Hope, I thought you were kidding when you said your family was fun to mess with! I just didn't expect it to be that easy." Looking at Alistair's confused look, Arthur continued, "I'm sorry, but really, I knew that this is a family reunion, I did read the banner on the front of the house you know."

Somewhere out there a very disappointed and angry Isabel Kabra left the computer screen.

Goal number two completed, a large amount of important and powerful Cahills upset at them, check.

"Yeah, we can't break up! What kind of family life would little Amy have then?"

More stares ensued

He could sense them plotting on how to turn their child against them, "Hopes just kidding, she isn't pregnant." The schemes shriveled up and died.

"Stop lying Arthur, you're confusing them even more."

Finally a black woman broke the silence, "Are you pregnant?" The incredulousness was evident in her voice.

"Or you are not pregnant?" That came from a woman standing next to… Oh no.

"Yes, yes I am Cora and Mary-Todd."

So that's what the famous Cora Wizard looked like in person, she was prettier in the photos. And Eisenhower had found someone that liked him? That was impressive.

Arthur took the silence as an invite to speak up, "You know, when I suggested we mention the baby to your family, shouting at a family reunion was, most definitely, not what I was anticipating."

"That's fantastic news, even considering that I wasn't expecting it." That came from the shadowy man in the corner that was dressed in all black, even his face was covered.

Still focusing on the bigger problem that was the Tomas that wanted to walk over and beat him up Arthur gently tugged on Hope's shirt until she noticed the more than slightly intimidating Holt.

Leading them away to the library, Hope made sure no one else was around and pressed a book on the top shelf and a doorway appeared.

Arthur assumed that it lead to the Madrigal base that was located somewhere in the house. What else could a secret tunnel be used for?

Somehow the man in black made it there before the pair, and had found time to take off his mask, which revealed a face similar to Grace's.

"Uncle Fiske!" Hope cried and hugged him.

So this was Grace's long lost brother, he must be very good since none of the Vespers knew where he was.

"And you must be Hope's fiancé, Arthur."

"Yes, that's me."

"Hmmmm," His eyes narrowed a bit; "Now, let me explain to our newest member the finer points of Madrigal beliefs…"

That would be his relation to Hope, the hidden secret of subtly loving to torture someone.

Ahh Hope; (and math and the 39 clues and keeping away from the Vespers…).

Oh, what an interesting life Arthur led.


End file.
